<meta name="LineWrap" content="true"><TITLE>SR_Bk1 0099</TITLE><A HREF="SR_Bk1-0100.txt">Next (Page 100)</A><BR> I think it's just that new videogame character, the one who travels around through the certificates on people's walls, the tan and white bridge-dwelling jackdaw? You know the one I mean?"<P><P>"Wasn't that some vaporware game from like ten years ago?"<P><P>"Apparently the game is gonna happen. Or has already happened."<P><P>"I hope they make a View-Master for it."<P><P>"They won't," Carne said. "They don't make videogame View-Master reels, I don't think. Videogames are the most massive piece of pop culture real estate that is treated like dirt, mostly. Or... maybe just as every pebble is a little different... um... I mean... ah whatever. Let's go get some coffee."<P><P>* * *<P><P>"My Moisture Detection Friend bought a subscription to a magazine from an alternate reality," Carne said. "He got two issues, and then... nothing. I've been helping him investigate the phenomenon, but we haven't had much success. And he lives in fear of government agents breaking down his door to confiscate his alternate reality contraband!"<P><P>"Yeah, the world is weird. Weird stuff like that happens sometimes," Pacer said.<P><P>* * *<P><P>"It is a peculiar kind of otherworldliness that my Moisture Detection Friend possesses," Carne said. "We often invest an image of otherworldliness in other people, and at times that assessment is wrong. It is based on our innate hunger for otherworldliness."<P><P>"'Otherworldliess'--how many letters does that have?" Pacer said.<P><P>"Um... sixteen."<P><P>"I knew a girl once who seemed pretty otherworldly, but she turned out to be a psycho, and not much more."<P><P>"Well you see, that's just what I'm talking about! That 'other world' we are so much in love with is actually right here--and our inability to see it is the impetus behind all of our problems."<P><P>"Yeah man, this girl had problems. She thought that people were just piles of leaves--like you get in Autumn--piles of leaves that just transformed and became people. Weird, huh?"<P><P>"Well, it could be that she was a psycho, but also, maybe she was just putting on an act so you'd leave her alone. I know how you obsess on women."<P><P>"Yeah," Pacer said, "that's what I thought. But a long time after I stopped talking to her, I'd see her lying on the ground, hugging piles of leaves and stuff. So I think she may have actually had some genuine problems."<P><P>* * *<P><P>"Yeah, hello," Carne said. "I am talking to you from an airport chocolate store in Iowa or something. Can you hear me? My Moisture Detection Friend would love this place! He would totally suspect that time travellers from the 1970s were all around here."<P><P>"Carne man, I can barely hear you!" Pacer said. "What are you calling from, a walky-talkie or something?"<P><P>"Almost!" Carne said. "It's one of those newfangled anti-satellite phone systems. Ytterbium, I think they call it. Instead of satellites, they bury transmitters deep in the earth's crust, allowing you to call from any point on Earth--even Iowa!"<P><P>* * *<P><P>"Wow, Pacer's not here," Carne said. "That's weird. I knew he was planning on trading Wacky Packs with my Moisture Detection Friend, but it's one of those stupid science fiction fan holidays today, like 'Square Root of Pi Day' or something. I thought he'd be celebrating it. Maybe I should check out some depressing malls, being that it's a weekday afternoon. Or I could go to a gardening store and think about monorails. Yeah... that's a good plan..."<P><P>* * *<P><P>"My Moisture Detection Friend helped design a strip mall," Carne said. "He included a hatch at an interior corner which inexplicably led down into an underground entertainment area, with monsters, pirates, robots, and all that kinda stuff. They kicked him off the project, but last week the strip mall opened, and damned if they didn't have that hatch and all the stuff he designed!"<P><P>"Wow," Pacer said.<BR><A HREF="SR_Bk1-0100.txt">Next (Page 100)</A>